nothing comes easy,
not even Spring
- 1 week ago
I’ve caught myself being a grumpy old man, trying to generalize and unveil the world of relationships with one “almighty attitude” swooping in with heartbroken rambles. So frequently, I attempt to take a step back from my own experience and look around. But in trying to unravel the modern relationship, I have still failed at truly understanding what it is in actuality. I suppose this is a case where I should only write what I know.
Certainly, relationships rely upon opening up and trusting another person, one you may not have known before this adventure has begun. Yet many will fall into terrible scenarios where they are hurt and their feelings trampled upon, and thus there is no excuse to claim these people are immoral and should know how to go about this complex process of being a deeper part of someone’s life. Even then, there are endless dynamics for a relationship, that don’t have to require a deep connection that is unique between two people.
My experiences may have been hard on my emotions, but to say that people aren’t looking for a respectful, lasting relationship is assuming I know better, and bringing out of an emotional beast lacking clear, fair thought. People are confused, it’s as simple as that. We know some things that make us feel good, but we generally find ourselves wanting more. Once we get the thing we’ve wanted most, somehow the magic is lost, not completely, but we get a craving for something new.
I don’t entirely understand when considering relationships, because I am very satisfied with another person’s imperfections, tolerant of their ways, and try to respect them enough to not hold in my opinions and feelings regarding their actions.
Most of all, I just want to be as genuine and fair as I can be with others, no matter where I stand in their life.
This concept of a “modern relationship” spreading about the internet unnerves me, and sharply stabbed me in the heart, because I had just gotten out of a short, but exciting “thing” as she called it, which left me deeply confused and without hope. It appeared that everything was right, and the occasional arguments were reasonable and healthy. So the end surprised me and made me question how being a good person could lead to a partner resenting me and preferring something less kind from someone else.
It appears illogical and unfair. But really, there are too many factors involved to make the argument that these people are the problem with how love should be. There is no one way love can be. Who am I to say how people should view such things?
When I look around, I do feel like there are a great many who lack self-respect and self-love. I’m no exception. Loving yourself all the time, treating yourself right, is no easy task. If only we could see ourselves the way some of our friends saw us. They can treat you with such kindness. Only, that’s not something I have the right to so harshly criticize. As I said, who am I to say?
I have a very straight-forward commitment to whoever gives me the opportunity to be in their life. That’s not how everyone works. I don’t have the slightest clue how many people out there might be like me in this way. The truth may be I’m the fool to want commitment, and perhaps I don’t know what that is, really. It may be that others have a better clue, as they have experienced more than I. Nor can I criticize and claim that people are slutty and bad people.
So, life continues. Hopefully there will be more answers and good feelings. I’d prefer to help those notions get out there, rather than growling at how I feel so abandoned in my like of people who interest me. My words should be more careful, more kind, and in time, maybe it will make a difference. Until then…forgive me for my distasteful, emotional raves. We’re all human after all, we’re all the same in our differences.